I feel depressed. Any advice?

Recently I have been feeling really upset. I don't know why I'm doing anything at all. I feel like I'm not really feeling. The days just past worthlessly and I can't seem to care about anything, with the exception of my boyfriend. All I want is to fall asleep and have time freeze, because I don't want to commit suicide and worry my friends or mom, make them upset, yet I don't want time to move. Going to school, for me, does not carry anything of interest for me other than my boyfriend. I hate the way I think now, and I try to tell myself that by doing something useful, I'll find some value in life. But I can't seem to find anything worth doing. In school, I'm smiling and socializing and achieving okay grades, and no one can tell that I'm upset or anything. I don't dare to get help from the school councillor. Sometimes, I feel worthless to everyone, including my boyfriend. I don't understand what I'm feeling. I don't recognize when I'm happy, angry or sad, except when I'm in moods like this. Everything just feels like its been covered with a veil, or I'm numb and protected from it. I cry, but I don't feel anything behind it. Its like the tears just fall, so I let them. What should I do? I'm only 14, and I'm tired and confused and sick of it.